What is a shadow question?

It is a question directed in the negative, towards insecurity/fear, like; Why don’t you deserve X?

Why don’t I deserve money?
Because I’m not good enough, I don’t treat others well enough, I don’t have a beautiful enough a dream or I don’t have a dream.
Why don’t I deserve affection?
Because I am disgusting, I’m fake, I want the wrong things, I don’t know what I should want to deserve it. I don’t know what form of affection I want. I feel uncomfortable when people try to show me affection because I’m disgusting.
What are the wrong things you want?
I want to be rich, I want sex and fame but if I’m rich then I’m not generous enough, if I indulge in sex I’m promiscuous and wanting to be famous is just me wanting to get rid of my loneliness and social anxiety and if people knew how lonely and fake I am then no one would want to be around me.
Why don’t people want to listen to you?
Because they don’t want to be wrong, they will treat me badly if I make them feel stupid…

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." Matthew 7:1-7:5

… I don’t want people to see how stupid I am, I don’t want people to tell me I’m stupid. I want my friends to help me learn but not judge, if I knew better I’d do better. I don’t feel good enough.

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” Luke 6:37

I don’t know how not to judge.